It's 11:22 and I've been watching Doctor Who again, but this time while enjoying a tub of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough (because Sainsbury's had the brilliant sense of timing to have half off on Ben & Jerry's today).
And I've been re-reading the Cardiff says no email.
I don't think Cardiff said no to me. Not precisely, at least. And they're academics, so you should sort of expect them to be precise.
What they said to me was that my ESRC funding application has - well, not been rejected, but not short-listed.
Also my Cardiff application page doesn't say anything, it still says a decision will be made in 4 weeks after receipt.
Of course, rejecting my ESRC funding application still more or less kills my Cardiff application, but that's more because of personal finances, not because I'm not ticking all the boxes - because I *am* ticking all the boxes, or at least I should be.
I haven't received an official email from the Registry yet, perhaps the Registry email will hold the definite 'NO', but as of now I still have hope for an unaffordable 'yes'.
We'll see what happens. I could always try to get a job (don't laugh, I'm sure I'd be reasonably good at a real job!).
Ah, the uncertainty of applications. I'm just not patient enough for the whole process. I guess that's what scares me most - not having anything to do next year. Then what do I do? Get a job, a flat, a car and a cat? Can I actually get a job in this economy? I can't stay with my parents for too long, we'll all annoy the living daylights out of one another (I love them to pieces, but we're all way too stubborn). I need to do something next year. If this isn't the definite Cardiff no, and Cardiff ends up saying yes, and no other place says yes, I guess I'll just try and scrape things together... There's always a way.
Except that I need to know my limits, as I've been told in the past. Do limits exist, though? Are there such things? I don't know, but it seems I'll be finding out soon enough...
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