Things are going so well! (a bit too well, perhaps)

I'm frightened.

Not for anything in specific, not for anything graspable (though I don't particularly like moths) or abstract or even situational (though public speaking will never be my favourite thing), but because I have so little to be frightened of.

I'm working on finishing my PhD application, which I need to hand in on Friday. My two referees gladly promised to write me references, and from one I already received confirmation that they sent it in.

I travelled to Birmingham today to hand in my passport renewal form at the Dutch consulate (in a suburb called Stirchley, nonetheless), and though I'd expected them to be difficult about my autograph and photograph and proof of residence and my fingerprints, I was outside again within, say, 15 minutes. Minor setbacks: it was more expensive than I'd imagined, but only by about 5 pounds (it still is legalized robbery, especially as the passport term will be extended to 10 years in October - I'll still be stuck with a 5-year-one), and my train back to Leicester had a 20 minute delay. Nothing worrisome, especially as I managed to pick up David Lodge's Campus Trilogy (I always do tend to remember books that people tell me about that I think might be interesting to read and though I don't usually pick them up immediately, I still do so at one point or another) in what must be one of the prettiest bookshops I've ever visited - and that includes Blackwell's in Oxford and that one that's in a church in Maastricht. I'd imagined troubles with my autograph because the municipality of Hellevoetsluis was dreadfully annoying about it last summer when I registered as living at my mum's, as if autographs are static things between the ages of 17 - when you just started using your autograph seriously - and 22 - when you've already held a job that required you to use your autograph regularly, at least 5 times a day on court days in my case. Troubles with my photograph because it didn't look entirely centred to me, but if they don't make a fuss, who cares - it was a semi-decent photo too, rather good for a passport photo I must say. Trouble with proof of residence because all I have are letters from when I opened my bank account and letters from uni telling me when and how to pay my rent. Trouble with my fingerprints because though I took very good fingerprints when we did them in Forensics - Dr Bond told me so - I tend to get sweaty hands in formal situations and I'm sure electronics are awful with sweaty hands. But no fuss, no troubles, no general incompetence. In fact, I'm more pleased with how the Consulate handled this than the Hellevoetsluis municipality did five years ago when I first requested a passport. So good job Consulate.

I received an email from my dissertation supervisor in which she sent me a copy of the PALA annual conference bursary form before she sent it out - so a) that's been sent out and b) she was overwhelmingly positive in describing me. I feel terribly flattered so now I'll have to do extra well on my dissertation to live up to that.

I had a chat with my course convenor yesterday about my Cardiff PhD application and she mentioned the opportunity here in Leicester, which is a 4-year PhD with a Graduate Teaching Assistantship, deadline 31 March. I have indeed been thinking of that one too, mainly because it's a) a brilliant opportunity to get into teaching and b) has a much better financial outlook than the Cardiff one, but it's a year longer of course (though I presume a PhD at 26 instead of 25 should not make the greatest difference) and I doubted whether I'd have a good enough CV to stand any chance. She told me to send her my CV - I received a reply today, and she still encourages me to look at the Leicester PhD with GTA. I will then. If I can think of a suitable topic, because my Cardiff topic doesn't translate very well to the Leicester department unless I make it much more media-based, in which case I could ask professor Jewkes if she'd be willing to supervise. So yeah. And the teaching would of course be wonderful, I mean, that's what I want to stay in academia for, to teach undergraduates.

Things are going well, and a bit too well, too. I'm frightened that I'll somehow run out of good karma or whatever is causing me this good-news-streak and ... but why.
Food for shrinks.

We'll see how long the streak keeps up. Fingers crossed it'll be long enough for me not to make a fool of myself at one point or another and long enough to receive a positive reply to at least one application.