Time

Seeing as tonight sees the broadcast of a whole new Doctor Who episode, this might be the right moment to write about one of my greatest problems with the show: Time. And time travel. Especially the Earth-centricness.

I don't have any problems with space travel, mainly because space travel is just covering distance and whether covering a certain distance in little to no time passing at all might well be possible when technology improves. Sure, if one travels by coordinates - as the Doctor seems to be doing - one needs to be extremely specific in order not to land halfway in the ground somewhere, or stuck in a ceiling - one would need to know the exact location of every atom in the general area of where one would want to land (which, so I've been told, is one of Physics's major practical problems in making teleportation possible). But I'm sure the TARDIS is perfectly equipped for this, and there appears to be a Galactic Zero Centre (http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Galactic_centre), like our global coordinates are at 0 where the equator crosses the Greenwich meridian, just off the coast of Africa. Such a zero point is an agreed-upon point and so not an absolute, but can still be used to measure against and so base travel upon. There need to be no extremes known - you don't need to know the "end", just keep on counting. It does not even need to be a Galaxy-widely held convention, even if only the TARDIS would use such a zero point, it can be used for travel, as long as elevation or at least a third dimension is taken into account.

But Time. Time does not truly exist, does it, other than as a purely abstract idea to mark the duration of a sequence of events. Time, as a concept, is a human invention - the basic notion is the rotation of the Earth and the orbiting of the Earth around the Sun, nothing more. A day is the duration for one point - or line, the Greenwich meridian - to move from a specific location relative to the Earth's axis to that same location relative to the Earth's axis, or from Midnight to Midnight. But that's a modern invention, as for instance in the Ancient world, if I remember correctly, a full day lasted from sun up to sun up and so the duration of a day varied. But an agreed duration for a day is good, so humans could divide it by 24, and then by 60, and then by 60 again, and so forth, to find out hours and minutes and seconds and miliseconds. There wasn't even a unified time per country until railways demanded it, and then it still took a while for everyone - it took especially the French very long - to agree that time is to be derived from the Greenwich meridian.
A year is just the same, the number of days it takes to orbit around the Sun - 365.24... something, so we need a leap year every four years except some. To us, that is, because to the Ancient Egyptians a year was 360 days (12 months, 30 days per months, 3 weeks per month, 10 days per week) plus a festival of five days for the Gods, which fell outside the year.
And what is our zero for years? Some Pope decided that the birth of Christ was supposed to be zero, so he calculated zero, and still got it wrong, so that our calendar begins at a completely random point in time. Fair enough though if we can all agreed that that random point is zero, but then the Jewish are currently in the year 5773. And we can't even agree on the point when the year should begin - Midnight at the start of the 1st of January? Or later, in late January/early February, like the Chinese New Year? Roman New Year did not start until March, while Ancient Egyptian New Year was some time over summer.
Fine, so let's say the TARDIS travels by Gallifreyan time - one could presume that at least the Gallifreyans would agree on one time, some of them being Time Lords, after all.
Travelling forward in time should perhaps not be too difficult, if one can teleport or travel really really fast - something with time running slower than elsewhere, something Einstein, something relativity.
But travelling back in time should only be possible if each event, or each sequence of events, is stored in some dimension, and that time passing is just - I'm going fairly metaphysical here - our consciousness passing through those dimensions. A bit like our consciousnesses are watching a stop-motion film, but then they are part of that stop-motion film. I guess this could be possible with parallel universes etc., quantum physics and what not. Schroedinger's Cat and that.
Besides, time travel should only be possible if one can map time against something - but against what?

But perhaps I'm taking time too much as a linear thing and instead it is "a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey... stuff".

Anyway. What I did realise is possible was what I realised yesterday as I was trying to fall asleep. Basically, we only see parts of the Doctor's adventures (most notably the Eleventh Doctor suddenly ages from 900-something to 1100-something over a series, and we don't really see what happens in the 200 years in between), so at any point in time, if the Doctor were real, we humans could meet just about every incarnation - a TARDIS could appear right here in the grad lounge and the First Doctor could come stepping out "hmm"-ing (or, more interestingly to me, the Tenth could step out brandishing the sonic screwdriver). Of course that would also mean (I haven't watched any episode yet in which the Doctor meets himself, so bear with me) that a Doctor with little to no hang-ups about crossing his own timeline could easily meet himself in an earlier (or even the same - but hang on, he did that more or less when Rose wanted to save her Dad) regeneration. I'd love for the First Doctor to meet the Eleventh and go all "hmm" and "my boy" and patronising and all that until the Eleventh points out that he is him but - hilariously - older.

What if time passed faster in the TARDIS (or any other other dimension) than it does in the outside world? It would explain why suddenly the Eleventh Doctor is 200 years older, for I doubt he'd travel without the Ponds for 200 years while the Ponds were still free. If one is used to a human pace, and time moves faster in another dimension, what would seem like a month could indeed easily be a year, or even two centuries.
It would also explain why some Doctors (especially the Tenth and Eleventh - I've yet to observe Two to Seven) seem a bit hyperactive compared to a human pace.
Sort of reversed relativity.
Perhaps it WOULD, in case of reversed relativity of time, be possible to travel back in time. Perhaps the pace of time inside the TARDIS can be altered so that travelling in time both ways is made possible. I don't know.
Hang on. Time goes faster on the inside than on the outside.
The TARDIS is Narnia.
That, or the Eleventh Doctor spent 200 years in Narnia.
Either one is cool.

Fascinating stuff, time. I just have difficulty grasping it - I do wish I hadn't dropped my science courses in secondary school. The upside of all this is that if time was a stop-motion film observed by our consciousnesses, I'd be totally right in believing there is no Truth and all there is, is our observed reality.

Physicists, do feel free to step in and answer my questions...

PS I love this: http://imagine.gsfc.nasa.gov/docs/ask_astro/answers/970401c.html. I'm quite terrible at the whole sine/cosine/tangent bit of mathemathics (only mathematics test I failed back when I was still good at maths), but let's ignore that bit. This bit: "The Earth is doing a lot more than rotating, although that is certainly the motion we notice most, because day follows night as a result. We also orbit the Sun once a year. The circumference of the Earth's orbit is about 940 million kilometers, so if you divide that by the hours in a year you will get our orbital speed in kilometers per hour. We are also moving with the Sun around the center of our galaxy and moving with our galaxy as it drifts through intergalactic space!". Pure Epic. Basically, it tells me that there should be four basic units of time on Earth: a day (rotation), an Earth year (orbit), a Galatic year (moving around the centre of the Galaxy) and an Intergalactic period (a distance in drifting through Intergalatic Space). Yes, I *am* ignoring time derived from atom clocks etc.. So basically, the TARDIS would not only have to have a sort of internal library of the positions of every atom - impressive enough to start with - but also of every atom's movement through time - and surely this must include 'paths not taken', i.e. unrealised futures and disregarded pasts.
Whoa. Time Lord technology must be truly awesome. No wonder the sonic screwdriver can do lots of things that seem like deus ex machina plot-tricks to us mere humans...

Tips: Academese (for family and friends)

I have just returned from a week-long trip to visit my parents, and I have found out that as soon as I start talking about my studies, I no longer speak a different dialect but a completely different language. There is a divide between the real-world, of which both my parents have a thorough understanding, and Academia, and this divide becomes painfully obvious when you stumble upon it without being aware that it's there. I was recommended the book Limbo: Blue-Collar Roots, White-Collar Dreams, written by Alfred Lubrano, in the concept of 'straddlers' is coined, people who grew up in working class environments and end up being part of middle class environments. I do not technically qualify as a first-generation University student and I also did not technically grow up in a working class environment, but the idea of 'straddlers' still resonates somewhat with me.

I have therefore decided to put together this small glossary of Academese; suggestions for words to be added are always welcome. Dutch translation in italics. 

of Arts (BA/MA): A degree in any humanities course, or any social sciences course that doesn't involve numbers or law*.

Een graad 'of Arts' betekent een graad in de geesteswetenschappen, of een graad in de sociale wetenschappen waarin geen nummers of rechten voorbijkomen*.

of Science (BSc/MSc): A degree in any science course that isn't engineering, or any social sciences course that does involve numbers (but no law)*.

Een graad 'of Science' betekent een graad in de bèta-wetenschappen dat geen ingenieursgraad is, of een graad in de sociale wetenschappen waarin wél nummers voorbijkomen (maar geen rechten)*.

of Law (LLB/LLM/JD): A degree in a law course; it's Bachelor of Law, Master of Law, and then suddenly Juris Doctor, which I think is a degree mostly used in the US. Old-fashioned 'meester in de recht' for LLM*.

Een graad 'of Law' is een graad in de rechten; Bachelor of Law, Master of Law, maar dan wel opeens Juris Doctor, wat eigenlijk een Amerikaanse term is. Vergelijkbaar met het vroegere 'meester in de recht' in geval van de LLM.

of Engineering (BEng, MEng - yes, I first thought is was of English too): A degree in an engineering course. Old-fashioned 'ingenieur' for MEng*.

Een graad 'of Engineering', afgekort 'Eng' (Ik dacht eerst ook dat het in Engels was) is een ingenieursgraad; MEng is de ouderwetse ir.

of Medicine (MD): The type of 'doctor' meant with the question "is there a doctor in the house?".

'MD' is het soort doctor van "is er een dokter in de zaal?"

of Business Administration: I think I only know of MBAs, not BBAs, though technically those should also exist. US-inspired degree in, well, managing a business.

Een graad in Business Administration, waarvan ik alleen de MBA ken, hoewel technisch gezien er ook  BBAs moeten bestaan, is een Amerikaans-geïnspireerde graad in, tja, het managen van een bedrijf. 

*HBO studies never have this addition, those are simply B or M.
*HBO studies hebben nooit zo'n toevoeging, die zijn simpelweg losse B's of M'en. 

Propedeuse (P): Dutch term, meaning you've passed the first year of your study.

Je propedeuse of P betekent dat je je eerste jaar gehaald hebt. 

Bridge year: Most of your undergrad courses work out to get you into your postgrad, but you're lacking somewhere so this year is to make up for that.

Brugjaar: Met de meeste bachelor studies kun je gewoon een daarop volgende master volgen, maar als je vakken mist moet je een brugjaar doen.

Gap year: Taking a year off to go backpacking in the Himalayas, comparable to the old fashioned Grand Tour of Europe often done by the ancient rich in previous centuries, though nowadays it's more people who are looking to find themselves. A select few still do it to see something of the world, though.

Een gap year is een jaar er tussen uit om te gaan backpacken in de Himalaya's, vergelijkbaar met de ouderwetse 'Grand Tour' van de ancien riche in voorbije eeuwen, maar vandaag de dag zijn het vooral mensen die zichzelf proberen te vinden. Een paar gaan echter om daadwerkelijk iets van de wereld te zien.

Bachelor's: First stop after secondary school, provided you've got decent marks. Will probably get you a lower-level administrative job somewhere; it means that you've learned the basic concepts of a certain field. Takes 3 years in Europe, 4 in the US. Also called undergrad(uate).

Je bachelor is de eerste stop na het VWO; met je BA/BSc kun je ergens een administratieve baan krijgen, het betekent dat je de basis begrippen van een bepaalde academische discipline kent. Duurt 3 jaar in Europa, 4 in de VS.

Master's: After bachelor's. Means you are capable of most jobs in your field; you have learned both the basic concepts and can apply them in new ways. Old-fashioned 'doctorandus'. Often takes 1 or 2 years, though 1.5 is not unheard of. If you're teaching with a Master's, you're an instructor/teacher (except for the US, where everyone is a professor unless they're a PhD) and people address you as 'Mr' (not! Mr. in de recht) or 'Ms' (or 'Mrs', of course, if you're married). Some particularly tough Masters-degrees are called 'MPhil' instead of MA/MSc/LLM/MEng; these are research masters. Also called postgrad(uate), or just grad(uate) in the US.

Je master is na de bachelor en betekent dat je de meeste banen binnen je discipline kunt doen; je hebt zowel de basis begrippen geleerd en kunt ze toepassen. Dit is de ouderwetse 'doctorandus'. Duurt meestal 1 of 2 jaar, maar anderhalf jaar is ook mogelijk. Als je lesgeeft met een master ben je gewoon een leraar of lector (behalve in de VS, waar iedereen een professor is) en mensen spreken je aan als 'mevrouw' of 'meneer'. Sommige masters zijn MPhil: dit zijn research masters en die zijn extra zwaar. 

Doctorate (PhD, DPhil): A degree that takes a minimum of about three years (though it is not unheard of, especially in the US, for it to take 7 years) that means you have added new knowledge to your field. Old-fashioned 'doctoraat'; afterwards, you are the type of doctor that is always called upon and then confuses people by saying "but I know nothing of medicine!". People are to address you as 'Dr' (though many fail to do so properly). Afterwards, you're technically qualified to teach and research at University level. See also this illustrated guide: http://matt.might.net/articles/phd-school-in-pictures/ 

Je doctoraat is een graad die minimaal drie jaar duurt (volgens de Nederlandse wet; het is echter niet vreemd als deze bijvoorbeeld 7 jaar duurt, zoals in de VS) en het betekent dat je nieuwe kennis toevoegt aan je discipline. Daarna ben je het soort doctor dat altijd moet zeggen "maar niet in de medicijnen!" en mensen moeten je aanspreken als doctor maar veel doen dat niet. Na je doctoraat mag je lesgeven op een universiteit. Zie ook bovenstaande link voor een uitleg met plaatjes.

Post-Doc: The ghosts of Academia; technically qualified doesn't mean anything, so it's becoming increasingly customary for people with a Doctorate to go on and do a Post-Doc; also known in the Netherlands as AIO (assistent in opleiding) or OIO (onderzoeker in opleiding). Basically, you're spending your time teaching classes and doing research for lousy pay.

Postdocs zijn de spoken van Academia; dat je mag lesgeven op een universiteit betekent niet dat dat ook lukt, dus gaan steeds meer mensen na hun doctoraat een postdoc doen, wat ook wel bekend staat als AIO (assistent in opleiding) of OIO (onderzoeker in opleiding). Eigenlijk spendeer je je tijd aan lesgeven en researchen voor weinig geld. 

Professor: Those who have managed to battle the bog of the bachelor's without imbibing too often, manage the misery of the master's without going mad, do (and finish!) the doctorate, get results in researches, publish papers, and teach terrifically, all for a good number of years, may finally see their hard labour recognized by a University and call themselves (and have themselves called!) professor from then on.
It's kind of a big deal, and that's why those good enough to get a professiorate (that's a word, whether or not my spell check recognizes it) may put the title 'professor' before all their other titles and keep it until they die (though after retirement it becomes 'professor emeritus').

Een professor is iemand die na een paar jaar zonder gek te worden door de universiteit wordt beloond met een professorschap; daarna mogen ze de professor-titel voeren vóór alle andere titels en die houden ze tot ze doodgaan (na pensioen wordt het wel 'professor emeritus' en als je Diederik Stapelt raak je alsnog je titels kwijt). 

TA/RA: Teaching assistant or research assistant; anyone who isn't a full teacher or researcher on a project but is nevertheless responsible for carrying out the same tasks as anyone who is. Can also be called an intern and then be forced to write a complete thing and still be second author.

Een TA of RA is een 'teaching' or 'research' assistent, die niet volledig leraar of research is maar toch dezelfde taken moet uitvoeren. Kan ook stagiair worden genoemd. 

Author: Someone who wrote something; order of names is important, because when there's a load of authors it becomes 'first name et al.', in which 'et al.' is short for et alii, which is Latin for 'and the rest'. Illustration: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=562

De auteur is de schrijver van iets, en de volgorde van de namen is belangrijk, omdat als er veel schrijvers zijn het 'eerst naam et al.' wordt, waarin 'et al.' et alii betekend, wat Latijn is voor 'en de rest'. Zie ook bovenstaande illustratie.

Don: Someone important at some old British unis, like Oxford and Cambridge.

Een Don is iemand belangrijk aan oude Britse unis zoals Oxford en Cambridge.

Fellow: Another name for an instructor at some old British unis.

Fellow is een andere naam voor leraren en lectoren aan oude Britse unis.

Uni: Short for university.

Uni is een afkorting voor universiteit. 

Oxbridge: Portmanteau of 'Oxford' and 'Cambridge', often used to indicate all supposedly elitist older British unis.

Oxbridge is een samenvoeging van 'Oxford' en 'Cambridge', wordt vaak gebruikt om alle zogenaamd elite universiteiten in Groot-Brittannië aan te duiden. 

Russell Group: Group of 24 British unis which lobby for better things for unis.

1994 Group: Second most important uni lobby group.

De Russell en 1994 Group zijn beide lobby groepen voor universiteiten in GB.

Campus: Confusingly, both just the location of the university buildings and of that plus university-owned housing, but can also be housing alone.

Een campus is zowel de locaties van de universiteitsgebouwen als de woningen die de universiteit aan studenten verhuurt. 

Funding: Money to do research. Sometimes also available to PhD-students so they can actually find that new bit of info.

Funding is geld om research te doen, wordt soms ook aan PhD-studenten verstrekt zodat ze ook daadwerkelijk nieuwe info kunnen vinden.

Conference/Symposium: A few days so you can meet other academics in your field and listen to their research, while you present your own. Also a very good excuse to travel abroad for a few days and see something of the world/drink.

Een conferentie of symposium is een paar dagen waar je andere academici kunt ontmoeten en naar presentaties luistert (en soms ook zelf presenteert). Ook een goed excuus om naar het buitenland af te reizen en iets van de wereld te zien/te drinken.

(Wine) Reception: Academic afterparty, means free food and free alcohol, plus a chance to mingle without having to look (too) serious.

(Wijn) Receptie: Een academische afterparty, wat gratis voedsel en gratis alcohol betekend, plus een mogelijkheid om te kletsen zonder al te serieus te hoeven doen. 

Department/Faculty: Section of the uni devoted to a particular field.

Departement/Faculteit: Deel van de uni specifiek op een bepaalde discipline gericht. 

College: In Oxbridge terms, a separate unity comprising a number of fields of study, though still part of the greater Uni of Oxbridge; in terms of other unis, the collection of all Departments in a direction (e.g. College of Social Sciences).

Het college is een verzameling departementen binnen een bepaalde richting, zoals het College van de Sociale Wetenschappen.

More academese Meer Academees: http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=405